This year has been full of changes, some good, some bad, some I just don't know what to make of. But I also feel that I have come to a better understanding of who I am and what makes me happy.
I cut my hair again, and although it might be seen as just a different hairstyle, for me it represents much more than that.
I spent all my high school life not really paying attention to my needs, to the things that could make me happy. Not that I was miserable or anything, but there were certain parts of my being I never gave attention to. I always felt a little odd because of my wild curls and my height. Never really did try to embrace it--until now.
So, someone said curly haired people should not cut their hair short because it just doesn't look good--well why not try it, I said? Why should you limit that?
For me, it's liberation. Don't get me wrong I love my curls, but I didn't see why I couldn't try new things with my hair, or why some people said a girl with short hair couldn't be feminine.
And here's to something else I heard, that I looked cute and bubbly with my long hair--and I did, and I liked it. But at this point in my life, maybe I want to feel something different, maybe I just don't want to be scared of embracing who and what I am--and this is my way of expressing it. Because part of my journey of self-exploration is really embracing my feelings, myself. Sounds a bit self-centered, but I think we go on for too long worrying about the world, and maybe we need to start healing the wounds that we have. Maybe it's time to give ourselves as chance.
Thank you all for being with me through the change, and I apologize if this was a bit too much!
I might be a bit of a wallflower but in my dreams, dear, I fly |